As we grow old, we realise social obligations bind us more than band-aids that adhere with the wound.
We want to be noticed, be part of the social circle and present our instagram and facebook beautifully and aesthetically even though our house is untidy.
We want to be a part of gatherings and parties where all our popular colleagues are invited. We want to be a part of ‘mean girl squad’, or may be upload a voguish picture of our group with caption ‘F.R.I.E.N.D.S’ in it.
May be we feel more obliged than the introvert next door who is not ‘cool’ enough or may be we enjoy all the drama and attention that comes with it. But there is a cost to everything. The warmth and pleasantness one feels on sharing the heartbreak with ‘the supportive friend’ or may be the ‘best friend’ soon becomes a local news.
But your heart is lonely. And the friend who gives the best advices is also a college Prophet, messanger of gossips and not the messanger of love.
It may sound like nothing but your heart breaks into pieces when your emotional trauma is nothing but a joke to everybody.
And so as I have completed a quarter century of my life, I realise that the concept of a heavy heart that loses weight on sharing doesn’t apply with real people. And so I do not entertain people who come running asking me about my ‘toxic relationship’ or my father searching a suitable groom for me. Because I know when you’ll all be sitting drunk in a party where I wouldn’t be invited, you need something to laugh at and you would be laughing at me. So yeah, I do not need your opinion until I ask for it.
2. Find your kindered spirit
I do not want you to be the Monika to my Rachel or Raj to my Howard. I know in real life, it doesn’t work that way. Your life is not a sitcom.
I want you to be the Diana to my Anne and Zahid to my Sam.
To uphold a true friendship, you need to be a true person first. And you only become a true person when you are honest with yourself. Honest to your needs, mental as well as physical. And then find the person who understands the value of it.
3. Be a little selfish.
At the age of 25, one should understand the difference between foolishness and investment. In a few years, your children might look up to you and ask you ‘why’. If that doesnt scare you enough I dont know what will.
At this point of life you prepare yourself for the future generation, how you invest in yourself directly or indirectly shapes them.
Dont be a people’s pleaser and instead work on yourself. Help others, provide them with support and love but not at the cost of yourself. Learn to say NO.
4. Be Humble.
We meet a rich but naive person, sometime, someday or may be frequently and our life becomes nothing but a presentation. Presentation of publically parading our possessions and accomplishments even though we might not have much of it. But it feels good to be validated and standing superior to others.
Soon that kind of validation conceals your mind and sucks all the peace out of it.
So when a rich person talks only about money, even though he has plenty of it, he has nothing else apart from it. He is still thirsty and wants more of it. When we feel we have enough, everything that surrounds us is like a blessing. Things they possess might have high prices, but what we have is priceless. So be humble and realistic.
Rich doesn’t always mean success. A wise teacher who gives all their life for the upliftment of students has more respect than a business man’s son who got everything in family posession. Always remember that.
5. Believe in yourself
And when you do, people will definately bring you down. And when they do remember the first point. You are right for yourself, not anybody else.